Hell's Handbasket: The decline of the English language, young person's digital division

This post is the first in the "Hell's Handbasket" series. Hell's Handbasket entries will weigh the merits, according to my own apocalyptic vision and no one else's, of alarmist reports as to the Decline of Civilization As We Know It. Right now I have several alerts on the Hell's Handbasket short list: The Constitution is Burning and ______ Set it on Fire; Social Justice Christians are Ruining the Country for Antisocial Unjust Christians; Harry Potter is Funneling Readers Away from the Important Stuff (A Sequel to the 1851 "Hell's Handbasket by Hawthorne" entry titled Damned Mobs of Scribbling Women Steal Readers from The Scarlet Letter); and, Today's College Students are Even Worse than Yesterday's College Students.

For now, I let these subjects hang fire a bit longer, and turn my attention to the English language itself, which is, according to many self-authorized sources close to that language, in fast decline. If we don't save the language, after all, then how will I write the next charmingly literate entry in my Hell's Handbasket Series? So, first things first. The language is burning. And it is being roasted by such suspect youthful practices as emailing, texting, and twittering. [Don't make me pause to reassure you that yes, I am well aware that people of all ages email, text, and twitter. But the fact is that digi-text is essentially a young person's language, like Rock and Roll was originally a young person's music. Right Mick? Right Keith?] For an excellent model of anti-young-people's-language tirade, amuse yourself with my favorite Crabby Old Dude's rant.

I will spare you a litany of Historical Hysteria, of times when the English language was spotted going straight to the devil but somehow re-emerged, or never got there in the first place, or was heading to a different destination altogether. But now as in earlier generations, what alarmists and other crabby dudes call illiteracy among young people is probably just different literacy. In my view, the rapidly evolving world of digital communication is not ruining English. On the contrary, it demonstrates the utter awesomeness of our language.You know that an unwritten law for the progress of civilization is that Young People develop slang or other offenses to grown-ups' language to show their defiance of authority, to develop more private ways of expression, to establish personal and group identities, and so on and so forth. It's just that before technology, the slang and other linguistic creativity demonstrated by Young People was primarily an oral tradition. Passing notes in class is horribly primitive by comparison.

Now, you see, most American Young People have constant access to technology whereby they create and distribute a written language. Who needs a press? who needs paper? who needs ink? Many a printer these days gathers dust. This new language delights me even though I am an outsider of the dialect. I'm fascinated by just how visual it is. You cannot translate most digi-speak to conventional writing, let alone speaking, without losing most of the message. Here are some examples that I harvested from my teenage daughter's Facebook page. At first glance they are easy to read, but look more closely at the details and uncertainty emerges.

Sleepover with brittany andd mariamm.((:

Emoticons have become standard practice in digi-speak, but what does the double smile mean here? Is Devin extra happy about this sleepover? Also, I thought the smiley faces usually pointed the other way (as in the next example). Here, Devin did not use an exclamation point, but maybe the double smile serves the same purpose. Then again, maybe something is meant that I know nothing of. Teens are like that, you know. My daughter, be it noted, writes excellent standard English as well as clever digi-speak.

Happyyyy birthdayyy Devin!! :):)

Now, I have a Facebook page, and lots of people wished ME happy birthday, too, but almost all of my messages were written in standard English, perhaps with a simple abbreviation here and there. Here we see a different version of the double smiley face, with eyes as well as smile duplicated. And we have multiple "y"s, four on Happy and three on Birthday.

I have asked Devin how she knows when to tack on extra letters and, true to her native speaker status, she could not tell me. You just do it, Mom, you know, whatever. [Accompanied by quizzical "Why ARE you bothering with this?" look and obligatory eye roll.] Extra letters may simply be a form of emphasis, and sometimes the extra letters are internal to a word, though typically they are repeated final letters. On the other hand, it may be extra letters are stylistic flourishes comparable to the curly-cues I used to add to my in-class notes.

These extra letters appear on texts as well as on Facebook, where they require several different key punches and even, on more primitive phones, pauses between punches. So they must be important to the impact of the communication. Further than that, I am not confident in speculating.

Devin:) ima call yu in a bit, so yu betta answer! I dont care if yu have to repeat yurself a million times because of my mentally challenged phone, we will talkk.;)

I happen to know that this correspondent of Devin's writes with standard English clarity when she so desires, and holds a perfect, or nearly perfect, grade point average.

[initial comment] babe, yur haircut is hotttttt.(;;; iloveyouu♥

[answer] awhh thankyouu boo(: i think its a little short but its okayy(;
&& i love you too♥ (:

Notice how much more is going on here than a simple exchange consisting of "I like your new haircut" and "Thank you." They would not add all those other symbols if they did not mean something.

Here's the obligatory disclaimer: Students must learn Standard English so that they can grow up to change it. They must learn to switch their language from the digi-world of texting or twittering to conventional writing and speech. Over time, whatever innovations may have lasting value to the language will be incorporated into standard practices, and whatever is of ephemeral usefulness--think "groovy"--will be sifted out or dissolved. Much slang does not even survive one four-year high school generation which is why older people (here meaning, anyone over 22) use it at their risk. So be at peace.

And as for Literature! Fear not for literature. Every generation has its incredibly talented authors and they will not be confused, let alone defeated, by alternative uses of language. And what do incredibly talented authors do anyway but create with the language? Excellent literature is a more advanced and complex form of the playfulness of teen-speak.

at least thatt is myy viewww!!!!!! :) ;)